The field of behavior change has been studied for over 60 years. Over time, it has become clear that people who are successful in changing go through a minimum of five stages, which we now know as the "stages of change."

This concept was developed by two psychologists working in the field of addiction, James O. Prochaska and Carlo Di Clemente, who recognized that the reason why many attempts to change fail is that there is a mismatch between the strategies being used and the stage the person is at. For example, strategies that work great during the contemplation can be useless when used during the maintenance stage.

The first stage of the five stages of change is called pre-contemplation. In this stage, the person has not even considered changing, either because he doesn't want to or doesn't think he needs to.

The second stage is called contemplation, where you're considering change - you have mixed feelings about change, and you haven't yet made a firm decision to change. You're not yet determined to change; you're still thinking about it. However, you at least are considering it and thus thinking about the implications of your behavior.

Some days, you might want to stop, and some day,s you're not so sure. You don't feel like you care enough. You might feel that your current behavior has a lot of benefits and that you're not so sure that you're really ready to give up. That's called the contemplation stage, and if you're in the contemplation stage, you really need to focus most on increasing motivation. Motivation is good for everybody,y but especially if you're in the contemplation stage. You really need to go through the issues and get clear on what you really want. The tools in Lesson 1 focus on helping you get that clarity.

Then the next stage is called preparation, where you're determined to change and are gathering the resources that you need in order to be able to actually make that change happen. It's basically about figuring out not IF to stop, but HOW to stop—and coming up with a good plan that is personal, realistic and acceptable. That's something that could take about a week or two (unless you have a lot of experience already from previous attempts, in which case you can do it much faster).

The next stage is action. This is where you put the plan into action and learn what works best for you through trial and error (or success). Your main focus during this stage is staying on track and not giving up when you have a setback. As time goes by, you'll use each setback as a learning opportunity and get better at it. The first few weeks are often the hardest as your mind and body adjust to the changes, but after a while, if you follow this program, momentum starts building up and things are getting easier. After 3-6 months in the action stage, the chances of you going back to your previous behavior drop very significantly. Being in touch with someone can be a very big help so that you don't give up in the middle.

Often, people use addictive behaviors as an escape from stress. If that's the case for you, the action stage is a good time to learn healthy ways to cope with stress or other negative emotions without feeling that you need to escape.

After 3-6 months in the action stage, it becomes much easier to continue the new behavior, and you enter the maintenance stage. In the maintenance stage, your focus is no longer on the problematic behavior but rather on improving other areas of life. When your life is good and enjoyable, the chances of going back to your previous behavior become very unlikely. And as we shall see, over time, there are physical changes in the brain that reinforce your new behavior and degrade your old habits.

Now, it's important to note several things about this model.

First, as much as it would be great to believe that everyone moves smoothly through the stages, that's not the case. People move back and forth through these stages. You can go from action back to precontemplation pretty quickly. If you find yourself struggling to maintain effective action, you can convince yourself you don't need to change after all. We are all capable of convincing ourselves of anything at any time.

Second, you can get stuck in a stage. For example, the person who says, "Yes, I'm going to make the effort; I am just thinking of how to do it" for a year is clearly stuck at the Contemplation/Preparation border.

Third, you may believe you have completed the stages and achieved your goal, only to be faced with an unexpected situation that forces you back to the action stage, where you recap on your strategies for setbacks and lapses.

This back and forth is called "re-cycling through the stages," and it's common for people to go through the stages a few times before reaching lasting freedom. The good news is that each time you cycle through the stages, you become more skilled at using the strategies successfully, and your chances of reaching long-term change have become much higher.

Figure 1: Re-cycling through the stage. Even when a cycle ends with relapse, it increases the chances that the next attempt will succeed.

Recently, GYE has introduced a simplified mode based on the Stages of Change called the three pillars of change. These include:

Any change needs motivation - you need to feel that the reasons for change matter to you and that the benefits of changing outweigh the benefits of staying the same. This can happen through self-reflection, but often by writing or talking about your reasons.

Then comes planning. This involves setting up a solid, realistic plan that you think can work for you. Our primary tool for this pillar is the three circles tool.

Finally, you'll need to focus on connection to help you remain consistent as you fine-tune your plan based on how well it works. This means sharing your goal and plan with others and keeping them in the loop. This gives you the support you need to make your goal a reality. Connection usually starts by having a conversation with a GYE staff member.

How do you know which pillar to focus on? Use your intuition and focus on what you feel is right for you today.